Captain Spaulding on Skull Island

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It’s William Shakespeare’s 449th birthday!

The website Happy Birthday Shakespeare is celebrating by having bloggers around the world post their thoughts on how Shakespeare has impacted their lives.

“The Tempest” is one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. I’ve seen a couple of productions, I’ve seen a couple of movie adaptations, I even gave a brilliant performance as Stefano in a 1992 production in Bloomington, Indiana (I may be remembering that wrong, there could be a small possibility that I may not have been brilliant).

Here’s a short, silly thing inspired by Caliban from Shakespeare’s (probably) final play.

Happy Birthday, Willie!
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CALIBAN EATS A BANANA CREAM PIE

(Lights up.
CALIBAN sits at a table. He is a hag-born beast-man, a freckled monster, a mooncalf “not honour’d with a human shape.”
In front of him, on the table, is a banana cream pie.
)

CALIBAN
Hast thou not dropp’d from heaven?
As the sinister son of Sycorax,
My appetite doth thunder and bellow,
The hunger torments me; Oh!
I gaze upon thy sweet whipped delights
And dream upon a dream of fulfillment.
I prithee, be my god! I will kiss thy crust –
And kiss again! And again!
Deliciousness! In rapturous joy
I roar ‘Ban, ‘Ban, Ca-Caliban
Has a new dessert better than flan
‘Ban, ‘Ban, ‘Ban, Ca-Caliban
Has the best pie since time began
‘Ban, ‘Ban, Ca-Caliban
All this treat needs is crushed pecan
Flavor, high-day, high-day, flavor, flavor,
high-day, flavor!

(CALIBAN buries his face in the pie.
Lights down.
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